Monday, September 6, 2010

I wish I could tell you that that we've gotten into the groove with this whole twin thing and that we sit around all day just oohing and awing over our babies. Well....not so much. So here is a little bit of whats been going on.

Thrush- As of August 13th the babies and I have thrush.....and we STILL do. Just when I think it's getting better it gets worse again. We've been trying different methods of healing. The hard thing is that there are two babies so we can just keep reinfecting each other. I am doing everything I can to prevent this but we still have it. If it's not gone by Saturday we will be trying something new. This is annoying, it hurts and it's getting expensive!

Colds- Ezra got a cold sometime in the first week. It passed to Daddy, Mommy and the babies. Mine wasn't bad. Ryan was really bad but is feeling a lot better. The babies still have stuffy noses. Poor kids!

Nursing- We went to the lactation consultant twice in the first week to get things off to a good start. Then we got thrush, wrench # 1, then colds, wrench #2. It's hard to eat when your nose is stuffed up! The thrush makes their mouths itch which makes it hard for them to latch on right and eat properly. Causing pain for Mommy and poor weight gain for the babies. If nursing wasn't really important to me I would have given up by now!!! Thankfully, the babies have been able to gain some weight! Haven't weighted them this week, but as of last week they were on the right track. YAY! Another thing I am thankful for is as of yesterday the babies are starting to nurse better. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! I am looking forward to the day when I nurse them both at the same time without worry! Right now I have to feed them separately and I have to help them the whole time to make sure they are effectively eating. Right now I am just thankful they are eating! My latest nursing woe...plugged ducts/breast infection. Painful and annoying. That's is all I will say about that.

A/C- What do you do when you have 4 day old twins and your A/C goes out? Cry. Pack up the kids and head to a friends house to stay cool. Repair A/C unit. What do you do when you have 10 day old twins and your A/C unit goes out? Not goes out. in dead as doorknobs. CRY. Pack up and spend the night at a family members house. CRY. Buy a new A/C unit. And...CRY....A LOT!!!! Yes, our A/C unit died and my bank account is in mourning. Do you know how much A/C units cost? Look it up. Let just say goodbye saving hello debt. I really don't know how to find the positive in the fact that it went out. I try to find something positive in "BAD" situations. So here is my attempt.....Our house is now cooler and maybe our power bill will be less.....that's the best I can do. Thank you Kacey for having us over. A big thank you to my aunt and uncle for letting us stay the night/whole next day.

PPD- Now after you have a baby it is normal to get a little bit of the baby blues. Your hormones are shifting and your body is just a mess! I had one day that was more then the blues. I really feel like I can say I know what Postpartum depression feels like. It is horrible!!! I am thankful for a wonderful husband who helped me move through that day so PPD didn't become a more permanent part of my life! I had to make a choice, I had to choose to be happy. Well at first I had to choose to want to want to be happy. If you have ever been in that situation you know exactly what I'm talking about. I felt SO unhappy that I could not see any good. I felt darkness all around me. Sometimes it is hard to be happy. I was feeling really frustrated. I had two sick babies, I was sick, I was sore, things around the house were breaking down costing lots of money, I have had almost no sleep for a LONG time, the babies were not eating well and were not gaining weight (which is really frustrating when all do do is nurse all day/all night.) This and more was all I could see. I could not see all my blessings. I am thankful that I can now see good! Things haven't changed, I've changed. Life is STILL hard, but I have learned how to find some joy (even if it's just one good thing) each day. I still get sad. I still cry. But I have joy.

I don't share this to air my dirty laundry to the world or for you to feel sorry for me. I share this with the hope that it will help someone. As women we feel we need to be Super Women. Everything must be made from scratch, our homes must be in perfect order ALWAYS, we must look perfect and our children must be perfect in every way. I'm letting you know that I AM NOT PERFECT and it's ok! It's ok if you aren't perfect either. It's ok if you need help and it's ok to ask for it.

Grandma- Is very busy! She gets Ezra up almost every morning. Watches Ivy while Ashley works. Takes care of some of the household, cleaning, shopping etc. Teaches childbirth classes. And is constantly looking up all my nursing questions, there have been A LOT! She has put up with me. She does all this and more. We are blessed to have her here!!! This has NOT been a vacation for her in the lest bit! I keep hoping things will slow down so we can do something fun together before she leaves, I'm still hoping. I am having a hard time because I don't know when I will get to see her again. I'm going to miss her!!! I LOVE YOU MOM!!!

Ryan- Is on leave from work.We originally planned on him taking off after my mom left but with everything going on here we needed him now. He also wasn't able to get enough sleep with babies crying at night so it's better he's not tyring to work! I am so thankful that I have a helpful husband!!! He does whatever he can to support me. His current project is working on his motorcycle. He is going to sell it so he is getting it in tip top shape for someone else to enjoy. So if you know anyone looking for a bike let us know.

Ezra- Is such a good big brother. He loves the babies (sometimes a little too much) and likes to help us with them. He has been singing, ABCs and twinkle, twinkle little star are his favorites. Sometimes when he is down for his nap we hear him singing. It is one of the cutest things! He will sing the song and then shout YAY and clap for himself. It's SO cute! He played with play dough for the very first time with Grandma and LOVED it! He did such a good job with it. He didn't make a big mess and it kept him entertained for quite a while. Ezra has learned about timeouts. He is at that terrible twos age. It also doesn't help that he has been a bit neglected as of late. I still can't do as much with him as I would like but I am thankful for the small moments. He snuggled with me for about twenty minutes the other day. PURE JOY! He is still a sweetheart!!!

Levi- Mr. Patient! He will wait quietly for his turn to eat (Not always, but most of the time). I can just tell that he will be a very kind and patient. He went from weighing 8 ounces less then Lucy to weighing several ounces more. Lucy will someday be very grateful that her brother weighs more then her. He and Lucy smile a lot in their sleep and I love it!

Lucy- She is a very strong girl. I hope she uses her strength for good! Right now she uses it to tell us how she is feeling. She has looked like a girl from the beginning and she gets more beautiful everyday.

I love all my babies!!!!

Me- Well you've heard enough about me. I am trying to enjoy this crazy time. I was just thinking about the song "You're gonna miss this" It's true. Someday when I have three teenagers I'm going to think that thrush and nursing problems, I'd liked to go back to those problems.

Don't worry.... my next post won't be boring like this one and it will have pictures!


The Fleming Family said...

I am sorry that things have been so rough. It is hard enough to adjusting to one baby nevermind twins that are sick! I hope things start getting smoother in the next few weeks for you. I don't think this is boring. It is good for you to record this for yourself and I do know it helps others. It helps me too.
Good luck with everything and please call me if I can help out some way.

Kacey Nielsen said...

You are almost around the bend toward the role of normalcy, i can feel it! Soon this will all be a distant memory. I'm now all about positive thinking!

The Hughes' said...

I am so sorry things have been so rough! I am constantly amazed by your optimism, and am grateful for your example! I do know what that one day of PPD feels like and I only had one to care for, not 3 so I feel for you! I seriously hope you don't have any more problems with your house! I am glad the babies are gaining weight and I am glad you are nursing! I am a firm believer of nursing! I don't really want to go into it, cause it sounds a little crazy, but because I was nursing, it saved Jaycee's life! Good luck with everything!

CJMsquared+3 said...

Keep up the good work girl!! You are doing great and I am so glad you have your mom and Ryan there to help!! You have the right attitude, keep looking for the good and it will pay off. I know when I am having a hard time the more I focus on the bad, the more stuff seems to go wrong. Keep up and keep those babies healthy... easier said than done I know! Good luck with nursing... I hate nursing when it is painful and baby wants it so bad but you can almost barely bare the thought of them latching on let alone the act of it :) Thanks for sharing... I think about you all the time and wonder how things are going! Love ya girl!

Aric, Janille and Ryder said...

Ryder got thrush too and it took almost a month to get rid of it. That was the point at which i almost quite nursing. But i stuck through it. Lets just say that you are super mom!!!

Chels Allred said...

you are a trooper! there is nothing worse, than a sick baby. well. i guess there is. 3 sick babies. im sorry!! glad i got to see them though. they are so cute!

Radialwebmedia said...

Sorry to hijack your comments...Rebecca Wells gave me your blog link. I'm a fellow birth junkie of hers....anyway, the thrush - take 3 pills 2 X a day (finishing the bottle) of the cand e cleanse from Herbally Grounded or here Also include taking a probiotic. It will go away. COngrats on the babies! How I miss Vegas and my birth peeps there.

Emily said...

when i read this post and the one before it, i just couldn't help but think how amazing you are to still have such an awesome attitude! at this point i think i would have given up.. you are SO strong! hopefully things are getting better at this point. can't wait to see more pictures! hang in there and know you're thought about often!