August 7, 2011
This past year has been the most wonderful, awful, fun, crazy, sleepless, amazing year of my life!!! I MADE IT!!! On those nights where there was NO sleep and I thought I might die and those days where all I did was nurse babies ALL DAY/NIGHT LONG, I would say to myself...If I can just make it to the year mark, things will be easier....Thankfully it is easier, still challenging but in a different way. I get more sleep...anything is better than NONE!!! I don't nurse all day, although Levi would if I let him. The thing that makes me saddest is that I was so busy all the time taking care of someone or something that I didn't get to enjoy my sweet babies as much as I wish I would have! Anyone who is having multiples here is my advice to you....CHILL OUT! Let your house be a little messy. Don't feel like you are neglecting one baby if you are holding the other(I ALWAYS feel guilty trying to make everything even). Enjoy your time!!! I spent so much of my time feeling bad...I'm holding Lucy, but oh, I should hold Levi...or poor Ezra he's watching T.V. again, I should read him a book or play a game with him. I am only one person and I've done the best that I know how. Many times I feel like the worst mother in the world. I'm not....I hope not...I'm not, there are some really bad ones on the news. I love my kids and I love my husband!!! This is really good because we've spent A LOT of time together in our little house. In the past year really the only place I go by myself with the kids is to church. This is not an exaggeration....I just think how could I protect all three of them if someone were to come up to me with a gun? It's also not fun to take three tiny kids places by myself. Ezra has been amazing! of course he gets jealous at times but all and all he has been so patient! He will ask me for something and I will ask him to hold on while I feed one baby or change another and most of the time he just says "Ok mom." This morning I was SO tired and he was saying "Mom, Mom, get up!" I said, Ezra Mommy needs a minute to get up." And he sweetly ran along to play with Lucy and Levi. SWEETHEART!!! Don't get me wrong he can throw the biggest fits but all in all he is SO sweet natured. WE MADE IT ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!! Yay for us!